Monday, June 1, 2009


today I received news that a great and godly man, and friend of mine from Malawi, died of malaria this month.

malaria claimed his wife only months ago.

they left four young children, who are now numbered among the countless orphans in malawi.

suddenly i understand the questions people ask of God.

why HIM? why did this man, whose life was dedicated to orphans and the downtrodden, have to die of a treatable disease?

all of those statistics, are people.

its all real.

my heart
is broken.


i don't know how to reconcile the fact that i went to the health clinic the other day on campus and was given free malaria medication by the doctor - they just had it 'on hand' as a sample.

and the fact that a man i worked with, painted with, sweated with, laughed with is now dead.
and his daughter, who i played with, is an orphan.

i don't know how to reconcile that.


a huge realization with this work and these opportunities has been how much I have been given.

but the gut wrenching part is understanding what responsibility comes with that.

if you knew you could save a man by paying $10, would you?

A malaria net costs $10.

Today I spent more than $10 on dinner out when I had food in the fridge.

and George is dead.


i am devastated.

i feel like its important to write about this, because its real.

Luke 12:48


Kristin said...

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend, Haley. And thanks for the reminder.
-Kristin H

Jennifer said...

damn. i am so sorry. sorry that we are okay, and his family is not. sorry that tragedy exists and you had to be the one to experience it. sorry that life is not understandable for the most part. sorry that your questions will probably not be answered. i'm just so sorry.

Notes from the Underground said...

I am sorry for your loss and the loss of his family. I have also lost some close to me and known others who passed before their natural time, though these two causes for grief have never coincided in my case. But, as an aspiring priest, I have asked many of the same questions which you now ask; I know no adage which can grant consolation in moments of specific grief, but, more broadly, there are universal truths which have granted me a more general consolation: Life is difficult, nature and humanity often cruel, but the universe is just; we lose some of what we hold dear much of the time and much of what we hold dear some of the time and, utlimately, we lose all of what love in this life (though I believe it will be restored); but we can never lose more than what we have and, from life--which is a blessing to have in and of itself--we gain more than we once could even imagine.

God bless

Victor said...

I am rereading "Irresistible Revolution" because I'm doing it as a book study with my life group in Cape Town. And it's a shock to people. It's really got people on the defensive. So I like a lot of what you write. The biggest thing is to apply ourselves and actually do something. That's the trouble we have in our group; there's a segment of South Africa that actually is part of the "American Empirical Dream" without knowing it because of excess and Western cultural influences. And we're juxtaposed with the poor, but no relation, no relationship. Working against it, but it's hard. At the same time, it's easy and true life, abundant life is experienced in that.

Even as I write right now, I've almost depleted my funds because I'm sharing so much. It gets hard because when people know you're different (especially within the church) they come to you. But it is a wonderful life.